Hermiting for fun and profit

As is usual during the summer i have mostly sat in the basement doing nothing and having very little interaction with the outside world. I become a hermit in all essence.

Now this can get very boring but blogging helps. and this shall be my guide to hermiting

*in the voice of every 50's instructional video ever*
So you want to become a hermit. Whether your doing it to master an obscure form of martial arts, escape society, get in touch with nature, wait for a hero to defeat an evil empire that need training. Hermiting has something for everyone.

So how do you become a hermit in this modern world where people are everywhere. Well it's simple, just act like they aren't there. Acting insane, not cutting your hair or shaving, and muttering to yourself make them stay away from you. Following this advice going anywhere and

Now on to selecting your hermitage. I live in a cave/basement, if you can afford an actual cave you are legally awesome. Cliff top shacks, swamps, and isolated islands are pretty hermity too. Plus an isolated location means that heroes in need of training have to go and prove themselves just by getting to you. a good hermitage is the start to any good hermiting.

Now for the most important things you need to know when hermiting, fighting the giant monsters that live in the woods. I personally re-upholster my couch with bear every few weeks with fresh bear skin, that's right freakin bear skin. and that's just one of the many things you as a hermit will have to kill with your bare hands. That's right as a hermit you will have to kill giant animals with your bear hands, this is why heroes will come seeking training from you. Your bear skin shirt and your shark skin pants will make you look so epic thousands of supermodels will most likey start trying to get to your lair. They will fail. This is why hermits should only date other hermits

The hermit dating scence will be in the next chapter.